Did you ever notice how some people seem to stride onto campus and click with everybody right away, while the rest of us are fighting to recall whose name is whose a mere week in? “Making friends in college is absolutely not a function of being loud or of being social,” reads one such secret, “but of relating to one another in a meaningful way.” And here’s a thing: these are things your campus advisor won’t say, at least until we spill them here.
Shared Experiences Are the Secret Glue
You’ve probably heard this phrase: “Do things together, stay together.” This phrase isn’t just an old saying; it holds meaning. Engaging in group activities such as joining a club on campus or going to a volunteer event creates memories that can’t be made through small talk.
Even in Small Things Count
Friendships do not necessarily have to revolve around major adventures. Coffee dates in between classes, studying for a test together at the library, or supporting your team during a sports game on campus are also important acts of friendship.
Consider these little acts small “investments” for your friendship to grow and flourish through familiarity and trust.
Do Not Be Afraid of Vulnerability
This is another trick that most advisors fail to incorporate: sharing personal struggles or difficulties with other people actually is an excellent way to help them bond with you faster. Everybody loves hearing that you had a personal issue or even a comedic experience.
Talking about your own funny error or your own hard challenge shows that you are genuine. When friendship is founded on trust, there is a much greater chance that such friendship will turn out to be permanent.
Finding the Right Balance
But of course, you do not want to overshare or be one-dimensional in sharing examples of problems. Mix in some positivity with comments about goals, things that excite you about college life, or even victories. This way, your conversations will seem down-to-earth but also inspiring to people to want to be in your presence.
The Element Of Reciprocity in Friendships
Friendship is a two-way street. It doesn’t automatically just happen between two people. There has to be a certain amount of effort that is put into making that friendship. It is very important to check in on your friends, to be there for them when they need you, and to show them that you are genuinely caring. Sometimes, just a “good luck” for an exam or a cup of coffee between classes will make a big difference.
Quality Over Quantity
It can be tempting to try to be friends with everybody, but it’s much more valuable to have actual relationships than it is to have a bunch of people you know but don’t really know. It’s these types of relationships that will last after graduation.
Unlikely RelationsCan Surprise You
In some cases, the last people you would think that would have any kind of relation become your best buddies. Be free to participate in new activities, challenge your comfort zone, and mingle with different types of people. You may just discover that that quiet individual in your class may become your study partner, or even your online companion in that friendly online casino game on campus.
Conclusion
The art of making friends in college doesn’t have to be an enigma. The key to forming lasting friendships is to focus on what you all have in common, be yourself, put in a little effort, and look beyond what things seem to be. It’s all a matter of realizing it’s not a popularity contest to be the most popular kid in school, but to form actual lasting bonds.